[Accepts quest]
Mr. Torgue: QUEST TIME, HUMPADUMP! A DANGEROUS MONSTER WHOM YOU SHOULD KILL IS HIDING OUT NEARBY. END OF QUEST BRIEFING!
[Arriving at lair]
DATVAULTHUNTR: Hey. Another Vault Hunter. You here to kill the monster, too?
HEADSHOTZ: Well buzz off! He only spawns like every ten minutes and we were here first!
E-SPORTS: E-SPORTS LOLOLOL!
DATVAULTHUNTR: Get ready everybody -- it's spawning!
[Raid Team Kills Boss]
DATVAULTHUNTR: Alright guys, we got the kill!
Torgue: WHAT?! NOW WE’LL HAVE TO WAIT FIVE MINUTES FOR IT TO RESPAWN! THIS IS TRULY OUR DARKEST HOUR!
E-SPORTS: E-SPORTS 420 SPEEDRUNZ!
Torgue: IDEA! IF YOU MAKE THOSE OTHER PLAYERS RAGE QUIT, YOU CAN JUST KILL THE MONSTER YOURSELF! IF YOU KILL ONE OF ‘EM WITH MELEE, HEADSHOT ANOTHER WITH A SNIPER RIFLE, AND DESCECRATE THE LAST ONE’S CORPSE, THEY’LL DEFINITELY RAGEQUIT!
[Vault Hunter attacks Raid Team]
DATVAULTHUNTR: Hey! What are you doing?!
HEADSHOTZ: Stop it, jerkbag! This is MY kill!
[Vault Hunter melee kills E-SPORTS]
E-SPORTS: YOLO SWAG E-SPORTS MEGAHAX 420 GET BLAZED!
[E-SPORTS respawns]
E-SPORTS: LOLOLOLALALALOL!
[Vault Hunter kills HEADSHOTZ with sniper rifle]
HEADSHOTZ: Cheap kill! Cheap kill! I’m comin’ back!
[HEADSHOTZ respawns]
HEADSHOTZ: I’m back, you exploiting noob hacker!
[Vault Hunter kills and teabags DATVAULTHUNTR]
DATVAULTHUNTR: DAMNIT! Once I get back to my corpse and respawn, you’re dead!
[DATVAULTHUNTR respawns]
DATVAULTHUNTR: I’m back! That boss is MINE!
[Vault Hunter kills and teabags DATVAULTHUNTR a second time]
DATVAULTHUNTR: Aww. You dick!
[Vault Hunter melee kills E-SPORTS a second time]
E-SPORTS: YOLO YOLO YOLO YOLO YOLO #YOLO
[Vault Hunter kills HEADSHOTZ a second time with sniper rifle]
HEADSHOTZ: Uninstall! Just uninstall your game and go back to your baby raising simulators! Vault Hunters are so OP!
[All rage quit objectives completed]
MR. TORGUE: ALRIGHT, YOUR COMPETITORS HAVE ALL DISCONNECTED! NOW KILL THE MONSTER!
[Vault Hunter gets credit for killing Monster]
MR. TORGUE: ALRIIIIGHT! YOU GOT CREDIT FOR THE KILL! COME ON BACK WHENEVS, BABY!
[Quest turn-in]
MR. TORGE: WHAT IS AN E-SPORTS?
E-SPORTS: I SAID GET BLAZED!