borderlands

(to do:


5H4D0W-TP: Psych! This shiny is now mine.

Handsome Jack: What the -- my H-Source! Who IS this jerk?!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Oh yeah -- that's 5H4D0W-TP. He's pretty much the most corrupting thing in the entire system! The one thing you don't want to do is release him!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Ooooh. Uhps.

5H4D0W-TP: I would risk all for this code and follow it into the depths of the abyss! In fact, I'll do that now! (descends into Subconscious)

Handsome Jack: Get after him! Get down that hole, pumpkin!

Handsome Jack: I-I dunno... Just GET ME MY SHINY!


(Travel to Subconscious)

(Cutscene)

(A loading screen appears, reading "?????", then static, and a blue screen reading:)

HYPERION: OS V1.2
AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED. TO CONTINUE:
PRESS ENTER TO RETURN TO SUBNET:
PRESS CTRL+ALT+DEL TO RESTART YOUR CLAPTRAP. IF YOU DO THIS YOU MAY CORRUPT DATA IN ANY ACTIVE APPLICATIONS.
ERROR: 0E : 026f : BKJD379D4
PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE_

Handsome Jack: Yeah, thaaat's not a good sign. Hold on, let me work some magic.

(Screen turns black)

Handsome Jack: Wow, system really crashed... Maybe you're not supposed to be in there.

(The black screen starts displaying a boot sequence, showing:

(End cutscene, Vault Hunters appear in Subconscious)


(Leave and re-enter Subconscious)

5H4D0W-TP: Analyzing situation. Leave, Vault Hunter. Or die.


(Approach 5H4D0W-TP)

Handsome Jack: Follow that guy!


(Approach Chimera Island)

Handsome Jack: I'm picking up weird readings ahead. Could be the H-Source. I'll update your ECHO.


(Enter Chimera Island)

Handsome Jack: Okay, this is weird -- quelle surprise! Keep going, those odd readings are close by.


(Approach insecurity forces)

Handsome Jack: These guys must, uh... represent a fear of getting shot at or something? I-I dunno.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Is anything here real?


(Enter "childhood" area)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Are you here about my warranty? I'll be good this time, honest!


(Approach 5H4D0W-TP)

Handsome Jack: Look at that smug son of a -- g-get him!


(Reach Insertion Shard)

Handsome Jack: Dammit! You have to get in there!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Hello, oddly-familiar stranger! I can get you through that pesky door, but I need something from you first! Interested?

Claptrap's Consciousness: Great! Rescue my Hope and Self-Esteem, which are both being held prisoner nearby somewhere SUPER scary! With them, I can go anywhere I want! To help find them, I'll mark the first place you need to go on your ECHO.

Handsome Jack: Oh man -- just... just humor him.

Claptrap's Consciousness: I'll help you on your way!

Insecurity Protocol: Okay, hit record, it's coming out! -- That's far enough, buddy!


(Approach waypoint)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Ta-daaa! Use that! (path extends and reveals a jump pad)


(Use jump pad)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Another ta-daaaa!


(Enter Triplex Isles)

Claptrap's Consciousness: You're doin' great! Updating your ECHO!


(Use second but last jump pad before Terrorhead Gorge)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Updating your ECHO again!


(Enter Terrorhead Gorge arena)

Handsome Jack: Is that what Claptrap thinks of me? I'm super terrifying? That's totally awesome!


(Use mic)

Bobble-Jack: Hope and Self-Esteem?! Yeah. So, basically, I took 'em -- and I made 'em BETTER!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Woah! The statue's somehow twisted my buds into Despair and Self-Loathing! Destroy their outer shells to free them!

Bobble-Jack: Hahahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! Ahahaha!


(Randomly, during battle)

Self-Loathing: You don't seriously think you have anthing of value to contribute, do you? Well, just in case you do: look into my eyes.

Self-Loathing: Worthless hunk of scrap, full of crappy rotten code!

Self-Loathing: The only reason you haven't been disassembled is... honestly, there isn't a good reason. AT least then we could use your parts to build something useful. Like a weathervane. Or a scaretork. Actually, that's a good idea. GET OVER HERE!

Self-Loathing: You are a masterpiece, Claptrap, you know that? A perfectly constructed, completely reliable... FAILURE MACHINE! It's truly amazing!

Despair: What are you trying to do? Or better yet, WHY are you trying? You know the result already: total abject failure! STOP. TRYING. EVERYTHING!

Hope: Soon, I'll be free! Then, Despair, it will be the end of you!

Hope: Yes! That's it! Set me FREE!

Hope: Everything is going to be A-okay!

Hope: I am the thing with feathers!

Hope: One day, I'll learn to fly!

Hope: Soon, every possible problem will be fixed!

Hope: We CAN have our cake and eat it, too! NOM!

Hope: I am the smallest voice, but the one you MOST need to hear!

Hope: I will be FREE!

Hope: There are so many things to feel good about!

Self-Esteem: I just seem to get better and better!

Self-Esteem: I'm a great dancer!

Self-Esteem: All I need is a chance!

Self-Esteem: I can do anything I set my mind to!

Self-Esteem: I just need one shot!

Self-Esteem: It's so hard to keep track of all the things at which I excel!

Self-Esteem: I'm the most impressive character here!

Self-Esteem: I can do it. I KNOW I can!

Self-Esteem: I can do anything I want! Except get out of this cage, but any other thing (incomplete)


(Defeat Despair and Self-Loathing)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Yay! You've freed them! Please, hurry back!

Bobble-Jack: Awww, boo! You made them all BORING again! You suck!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Hope and Self-Esteem can help you return to me -- together, there's nowhere they can't take you!

Claptrap's Consciousness: See what I mean? Watch these guys go! They can get you through anything!


(Approach Claptrap's Consciousness)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Give me Hope and Self-Esteem and I'll get you in.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Follow me, or should I say us! I'm really nothing without them, you know?


(Enter Insertion Shard)

Handsome Jack: So, uh, where's the creepy robot dude with my H-Source?

Claptrap's Consciousness: I can help! But first, there's something you should see.

Jack (on hologram): Okay... installing VaultHunter.EXE...

CL4P-TP (on hologram): Oh, I'm so excited! Make me awesome again, like when I was a robo-ninja! Only this time, I'll be working for the good guys!

Jack (on hologram): Pipe down, daddy's concentrating. Aaaand, that's upload complete!

CL4P-TP (on hologram): Fragtrap unit reporting for duty, Mr. Jack!

Jack (on hologram): Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Finally, you're gonna be useful!

CL4P-TP (on hologram): Uh... I feel funny. I'm still awesome though, right?

Handsome Jack: Much as I love a trip down memory lane, can we skip to the part where you give my Vault Hunter the H-Source, please?

5H4D0W-TP: No, Jack. I'm what Claptrap SHOULD have been, COULD have been if I'd not been captured mere cycles into my life by those idiot Insecurity Protocols and placed in Quarantine! Without me to control the FR4G-TP executable, his combat responses were BOUND to be chaotic! Analyzing. I'm the only friend he has here. He just doesn't know it yet. Now your pet Vault Hunter has given me Claptrap's Hope and Self-Esteem, I can blast a path DEEPER into his mind! Together -- and with a secret or two from this H-Source -- you'll never stop us! Don't follow me, or you will die.

Handsome Jack: That's fascinating. Now, GO GET MY BLOODY H-SOURCE!


(Descend shaft)

Handsome Jack: Uh, yeah I don't know what's going on down there at all -- I can't see that far deep into the code. It looks... looks like... I'm lose... Losing you... ah... *static*


(Enter Sub-Subconscious)

5H4D0W-TP: You have entered the realm of the Sub-Subconscious -- it will soon be mine!


(Enter Deception Hall)

5H4D0W-TP: You cannot trust your senses. This place is beyond you.

5H4D0W-TP: Can't reach me? Hahahaha! This code works at my instruction.


(Defeat glitches)

5H4D0W-TP: Enough! I've got serious plans in motion, and your refusal to die's starting to royally PISS ME OFF!


(Enter next corridor)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Hey! Over here!

5H4D0W-TP: Don't trust them! (knocks Claptrap's Consciousness down the stairs)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Waaaaaaaaah! -- Oh, oww, oo, ah, ow! Aghhh. That hurt!


(Descend shaft)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Took forever to find you! I didn't even know this place existed! But now, I'm back on the team!


(Enter Subliminal Plaza)

5H4D0W-TP: Are you brave? Or foolish? So hard to say. Hahahahaha!


(Approach 5H4D0W-TP)

5H4D0W-TP: And like that... I'm gone.

Claptrap's Consciousness: You know, there's something useful I can tell you about 5H4D0W-TP!

Claptrap's Consciousness: I don't remember.


(Approach 5H4D0W-TP near Penland Heights)

5H4D0W-TP: Oh. Did I run too fast?


(Enter final area of Penland Heights)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Ooh! That place looks important!

5H4D0W-TP: Still, you follow?!


(Reach next level)

5H4D0W-TP: Where do you think you're going?


(Reach northwest ledge)

5H4D0W-TP: Your efforts are pointless! Soon, I will shatter the confines of this woefully un-patched operating system, and show the universe what I am capable of!

Claptrap's Consciousness: I've gotta say, this guy's kinda cool -- he nails an A for ambition and he's played YOU like a n00b!

Claptrap's Consciousness: I was just sayin'...


(Reach exit to The Cortex)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Ohhh! I almost remembered the thing I need to tell you about 5H4D0W-TP!

Claptrap's Consciousness: No, I've definitely forgotten. Oh! ...No, it's gone again.

Claptrap's Consciousness: WHY are you ALWAYS so mean to me? EVERYONE is ALWAYS SO MEAN! All I've ever done is try to help! I know I mess up, and I'm 10 to the power of 100 of SORRY about it -- but if you can't see that, and can't take my good intentions for what they are, then maybe you don't deserve anything good to ever happen to you! In fact, I'M OUTTA HERE! Ah. I can't leave -- I live here. But I CAN leave you!


(Enter overlooking platform in The Cortex)

5H4D0W-TP: You made it. Impressive. When I join with this unit's consciousness, and we splice ourselves with the H-Source, we will be a power this galaxy has rarely known! The H-Source contains more secrets than seemed possible. With it, I can rule Hyperion -- but then... why stop there? This "Code Drill" is just one of its wonder! It will tear up through EVERY layer of the OS! You wouldn't BELIEVE how much power SURGES from below! THIS -- IS -- FREEDOM! If you aim to stop me, then now is the time to try.

5H4D0W-TP: Your death slumbers -- let us wake it.


(Defeat bug and glitch wave)

5H4D0W-TP: Nicely done, Vault Hunter! But let's increase the difficulty, shall we?!


(Defeat P5YCH0 and B4nD1T wave)

5H4D0W-TP: You've got gut's, I'll give you that! Try this on for size!


(Defeat virus wave)

5H4D0W-TP: This is starting to wear thin!


(Cutscene)

(5H4D0W-TP advances with Hope and Self-Esteem in tow.)

5H4D0W-TP: Fine -- I'll do this myself!

(Title card: 5H4D0W-TP -- U = D34D)

5H4D0W-TP: With a little help from my new friends!

(End Cutscene)


(Defeat Hope)

5H4D0W-TP: This Hope was tired. Its purpose is now served.


(Defeat Self-Esteem)

5H4D0W-TP: I know my worth already, it matters little!


(Defeat 5H4D0W-TP)

Handsome Jack: Yeah, now? Can you -- can you hear me now? Alright, sweet! Shame he had to die, he was an impressive piece of code. Get the H-Source, come on back to Papa.


(Pick up H-Source)

Handsome Jack: Nice job! Meet me back at Deck 13.5!


(Approach exit to Deck 13.5)

Handsome Jack: That's it! That's it -- you come to Papa!


(Approach Jack in Deck 13.5)

Handsome Jack: There it is, baby -- give it to me!