(Cutscene starts)

Orphan: Long time ago, there was a big pile of treasure in the desert, and the Vault Hunter Found it and killed all the bad guys, the end.

Marcus: No, no, no — that’s not how you start a story!

Orphan: I thought it was pretty good.

Marcus:  And I think you’re  not getting fed this week. No, this is how you start a story: Legends speak of Captain Blade’s Lost Treasure of the Sands. Of a prize so great, that men would turn the sands red in pursuit of it. Of a pirate queen, courageous and deadly, who would stop at nothing to find it. Of a monstrous Leviathan. Of the Vault Hunters who journeyed to the desert town of Oasis, not knowing the horrors that would befall them. See? That’s how ya do it.

Orphan: Mine was more succinct.

Marcus: Your life’s gonna be succinct, you dirty little orphan.

(Cutscene ends.)

Shade: Welcome to my lovely town of Oasis, stranger. Now, if, if you could please… SAVE ME FROM THE FILTHY SAND PIRATES TRYING TO STEAL MY WATER!

(Vault Hunter kills all pirates and No-Beard appears.)

No-Beard: Hey, Shade! Give us the water and Sandman won’t use your ribcage like a hat rack!

(Vault Hunter kills No-Beard.)

Shade: Thank you so very much, my friend! Yes, yes-yes-yes! Now that my water is safe, let us chat in person! Like people.

Captain Scarlett: What’s that ruckus coming from Oasis? Oh, is that a Vault Hunter I see? I’m Captain Scarlett, and something tells me you’re here for the treasure, sme as I am. So, we’ve got two options: work together and split the treasure, or we could just try to kill one another. Or… maybe both! Come find me in Wurmwater, yeah?

(Vault Hunter approaches Shade.)

Shade: I am Shade, and you  — YOU!  —  are the coolest person I have ever seen. Please don’t go. Please.

(Vault Hunter turns in the mission.)

Shade: The townspeople of Oasis thank you.